Couples seek marriage counseling for a variety of reasons including premarital counseling, conflict resolution, affair recovery, communication issues, feeling disconnected, or even disagreement about parenting styles. Marriage counseling helps couples focus on the problem instead of each other, identify causes and patterns of conflict, learn how to communicate better, empathize more, and have Biblical expectations for the relationship.
That’s where True Hope Christian Counseling comes in to help.
How Can Marriage Counseling Help You and Your Spouse?
In marriage, couples are tasked with facing and adapting to life’s ever-changing seasons, and in the midst of these changes, it is not uncommon for conflict to arise and create disconnection.
Marriage counseling offers a safe and intentional environment to not only target your current relationship needs but also enable you to better face these seasons together. Through counseling, couples are able to focus on the problem instead of each other, identify causes and patterns of conflict, and set Biblical expectations for the relationship. Your counselor serves as an impartial and fresh perspective encouraging you to deepen compassion for each other and expand your understanding of the dynamics at play within your marriage.
Through targeted work, marriage counseling addresses the root of your emotional disconnection and outfits couples with improved communication, expanded coping skills, greater awareness of their own needs and those of their spouse, and additional practical strategies to restore and strengthen health, trust, intimacy and connection between spouses.
Heal from Infidelity
Many couples struggle with recovery after an affair. Infidelity is so destructive because it attacks many facets in the marriage. At the core, infidelity is a symptom of larger issues in the marriage. This by no means excuses the sinful action — but usually, infidelity occurs when one person in the marriage is seeking love, respect, affirmation or encouragement from other people. Ultimately the solution is to find those things in Christ, which is who God says your identity is found.
At True Hope Christian Counseling, we can help you walk through affair recovery. Regardless of the stage you are in, this process takes discipline and time to accomplish — but know that with commitment to the process, there is always hope.
Improve Communication in Marriage
Couples communication barriers often result from both individuals having different backgrounds, experiences, temperaments, values, and culture. Difficulty with communication can result in conflict that then leads to divide, bitterness, and distance in relationships.
We address communication issues by looking at each individual’s sin nature in addition to the unhealthy patterns that individuals continue to play out in relationship with each other. Communication is improved by interrupting patterns with new responses that model Christ such as patience, self-control, love, forgiveness, and empathy.
Reconnect with Your Spouse
In our culture, it is common to think of connection in terms of physical chemistry, shared interests, or just the general ability to have “fun” together — but the reality is that true emotional connection is rooted in a much deeper foundation. It is a bond cultivated from individuals who feel safe together and intentionally create space where they can each feel seen, known and valued. In this way, it is less about surface-area similarities that two share and is more about the intentional, consistent behaviors chosen between partners to not only create but also maintain this safe space and in turn, a deep bond.
As humans, we are spiritually and biologically wired to connect — making it even more crucial to nurture this connection and heal disconnection between spouses. By identifying the root causes of emotional distance in a marriage (ie broken promises, complacency, distraction, criticism, expectations etc), partners can take targeted steps to repair the damage and restore trust, safety and closeness. As marriage counselors, we are honored to guide you to both discover these underlying sources and adjust behaviors so that your marriage may experience greater connection and you can better tackle and enjoy life together.
Is Marriage Counseling Right for Us?
Marriage counseling can be valuable to any couple looking to grow together and to improve their partnership, and there are no restrictions on when to seek counseling within a marriage. Most marriages benefit from regular ‘tune ups’ and in general, any issue that has not been resolved through your own efforts can benefit from therapy. Some questions to ask that indicate it is time to seek support are:
Are you “stuck” on a disagreement and find yourselves repeating the same argument over and over again?
Have arguments become unproductive, increasingly heated or more difficult to diffuse?
Has frequent criticism and bickering become commonplace?
Is a misaligned goal creating conflict within your partnership? (financial, parental, lifestyle, career, etc)
Do you find yourselves avoiding conflict, not talking or stonewalling?
Do you or your spouse feel a growing resentment towards one another?
Does your relationship lack emotional connection or physical intimacy?
Has trust been damaged or has there been infidelity?
Are you anticipating a big change in your lives and want to prepare to face it together?
Whether you are seeking marriage counseling as a proactive “tune up” to breed greater connection or as a reaction to issues already impacting your relationship, marriage counseling can be an effective tool to assist with reaching your objectives and growing together.
Our Approach to Marriage Counseling:
At True Hope Christian Counseling, we approach marriage in the same way that we approach life - through a biblical lens - ensuring that the ideologies that frame solutions to problems addressed in your marriage are derived from a common theology between you and your counselor and that this, in turn, orients goals and behaviors towards each other.
Marriage itself is an institution designed by God for His glory with the Church represented as the bride and Christ as the groom, and in this way, the goal of marriage is not about finding joy, happiness, or self-worth or even creating joy, happiness or worth for your spouse. Rather, it is about glorifying God by trusting, sacrificing, suffering and partnering with one another and learning to love one another through relationship with Jesus. While most people mistakenly derive their value from their identity as a “good” spouse, parent, daughter, son, sibling, friend, grandparent, etc, true value can only be found in one identity - as a disciple of Jesus Christ.
Gospel-centered marriage counseling recognizes this truth and that the commitment made through the covenant of marriage is a commitment not to your spouse but to God about your spouse, and it is through this context that we provide counsel.
By integrating these biblical principles with research-based therapeutic approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), we are able to assist our clients in breeding greater connection, strengthening their faith and their bonds through marriage, and ultimately finding improved quality of life and relationship.
Marriage Counseling FAQs
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Marriage counseling takes an investment of your time and money, so it is important to understand the value and benefits that your investment can cultivate. In a 2012 study from the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, it was found that “couples counseling positively impacts 70% of couples receiving treatment” and ultimately, seeking therapy can be an important step in a long, healthy marriage.
Indeed, marital counseling can be highly effective, and the more proactive you are in seeking help, oftentimes the better. While marriage counseling can be beneficial to address relationships in many stages, it is often most effective when utilized at the initial onslaught of issues. Couples who take a proactive approach can avoid allowing negative feelings to manifest as resentment and prevent barriers in their emotional connection from deepening.
Ultimately, couples who are willing to actively engage in therapy to grow and learn individually and together often reap the greatest benefits in their relationship, and this commitment to improving the dynamics within their marriage can both enhance their bond and lead to greater mental well being.
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Couples seek counseling for a variety of issues and in many cases, there may be more than one struggle leading to a growing distance in your marriage.
Sometimes we address differences between spouses including but not limited to communication or parenting styles, financial goals, or marital expectations and assist with mediating and resolving conflicts in a healthy way.
Other times we help couples through a major life transition such as a career change, move, birth of a child or financial challenge so that couples can grow together, rather than apart, during these periods of change.
We also see couples who feel they have “grown apart” and are experiencing a lack of emotional connection and/or physical intimacy.
In additional, we work with spouses overcoming severe or chronic problems in their marriage or looking to address infidelity, pornography addiction, substance abuse, etc.
Hope and healing can be found through marriage counseling regardless of the specific circumstances when both spouses are willing to grow, be vulnerable and take positive steps to better the relationship.
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Prior to your first session, you and your spouse will want to access and complete your intake paperwork located on the client forms page. We encourage you to bring a completed copy with you to your first session, or if you prefer you can arrive 10 minutes ahead of your scheduled time to complete these items.
Our first session will begin by getting to know each of you and what has brought you to marriage counseling. We will then discuss a plan for ongoing therapy as appropriate. The course of counseling will be unique to the needs of your relationship and through continued sessions we will discuss ongoing struggles, address root causes of conflict and disconnect within your relationship and implement positive changes to promote the long term health of your marriage.
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MYTH #1: WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIX THIS ON OUR OWN AND SEEKING HELP MEANS WE HAVE FAILED
Challenge and conflict in marriage is inevitable, and the very fact that a couple would seek support to overcome these challenges is a win and indicates commitment to the growth and health of your relationship. Just as one would turn to a nutritionist for counsel on health or to a doctor for counsel through medical advice, seeking a professional for counsel on the health of your relationship is wise, courageous and appropriate in many circumstances. A counselor offers a fresh and impartial perspective that can be an asset as couples work to grow their connection, heal wounds, deepen compassion for one another and strengthen their partnership.
MYTH #2: ONLY COUPLES ON THE PATH TO DIVORCE SEEK THERAPY
Couples enter therapy at varying stages of their marriage and while it is true that some couples seek therapy when they are on the verge of breaking up or because they are uncertain about the future of their relationship, this is oftentimes not the case. In fact, beginning therapy before problems progress can make counseling even more successful, and many spouses approach therapy to proactively prevent resentment or contempt from forming and to actively invest in their commitment to promote a long, healthy marriage. Ultimately, the goals for marriage counseling differ from couple to couple and many seek it as a means to work through difficult seasons and grow together to enhance connection.
MYTH #3: MY THERAPIST WILL TAKE MY SPOUSE’S SIDE
Shame and blame have no place in good counseling. Rather, counseling is a safe place for both partners and any therapist that “takes sides” is not fulfilling their role. As counselors, it is our job to serve both partners through an impartial lens, so we can walk with you to heal and uncover the roots of disconnection in your relationship. Both partners should feel heard and supported in counseling so that each can walk away with a deepened understanding of themselves, their needs, areas for growth, their role in the dynamics of the marriage and greater empathy for their spouse.
MYTH #4: MARRIAGE COUNSELING COSTS TOO MUCH TIME AND MONEY
Certainly, marriage counseling costs both time and money, but the financial burden of divorce far surpasses the investment made into therapy. By budgeting for these costs for counseling now, you can not only reduce the risk of much greater expenses for attorneys, child support, etc in the future but also help avoid the emotional toll and subsequent energy spent on an unhealthy marriage or divorce.
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$150 - Standard 45 minute couples counseling session
$300 - Intensive 90 minute session available upon request
The frequency and duration of sessions will depend on your goals and can range from short term to longer term needs. During our first session, we will discuss these goals and what to expect for ongoing therapy.
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You will need to review your specific plan details or contact your insurance company directly to determine whether your coverage includes marriage counseling. Keep in mind, insurance equity laws do not extend to marriage counseling. As such, in most cases, marriage counseling would not be covered.
If your insurance does provide coverage, note that True Hope Christian Counseling would be considered an out of network provider and at your request, we can supply a superbill for you to submit to your carrier for reimbursement.
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We offer both face-to-face sessions in our Colleyville office and virtual counseling through secure and confidential platforms. The cost for virtual counseling is the same as our in-office rates.
$150 - Standard 45 minute couples counseling session
$300 - Intensive 90 minute session available upon request
In-home counseling also is available upon request and costs are based on travel time, length of session, etc. Contact us for a quote and to inquire about in-home counseling options.
Your marriage is important to us.
Have Questions?
We offer marriage counseling for couples in Southlake, Grapevine, Colleyville, Roanoke, Keller, and the greater Tarrant County.
